Funny Thoughts for the Day

· If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
· If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
· Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
· What do chickens think we taste like?
· What do people in China call their good plates?
· What do you call a male ladybug?
· What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
· When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
· When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
· Which is the other side of the street?
· Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
· Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
· Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
· If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
· If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
· If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
· If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
· Why is the man who invest all your money called a broker?
· Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
· When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
· Why is a person who plays the piano call a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
· Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?
· If horrific mean to make horrible, doesn't terrific mean to make terrible?
· Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
· If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
· Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?