Funny Thoughts for the Day

· If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
· If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
· Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
· What do chickens think we taste like?
· What do people in China call their good plates?
· What do you call a male ladybug?
· What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
· When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
· When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
· Which is the other side of the street?
· Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
· Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
· Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
· If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
· If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
· If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
· If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
· Why is the man who invest all your money called a broker?
· Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
· When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
· Why is a person who plays the piano call a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
· Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?
· If horrific mean to make horrible, doesn't terrific mean to make terrible?
· Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
· If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
· Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?

Ranking my days

I came to realize (after a particularly not so great day at school) that I seem to have a pattern of how I rank my days. You can really tell the correspondence of what my day at school was like to what I do after school gets out. This is how I rank my days.

1 --- Stay at school for a good hour after the kids leave - grade papers, clean my room, go happily home and play on my computer, singing along with my cd player, gets lots of school work done, stay up past 11

2 ---Stay at school for 1/2 hour - clean room, check e-mail, sing along with my cd, get most of my school work done, go to bed before 11

3 ---Stay at school for 15 extra minutes - put music on but don't sing along. Look longingly at 7-11 but don't stop, Grab a can of pop out of my fridge, get about 1/2 of my school work done. Go to bed by 10:30.

4 --- Leave school as soon as possible - put music on but don't sing along. Look longingly at 7-11, almost pull in the driveway but have the courage to refrain, get a pop from the fridge and hunt down some source of chocolate at my house, visit Mikayla to remind myself I like children, get maybe 1/4 of my school work done, go to bed just after 10.

5---Leave school as soon as possible - talk to myself the whole way home. My car goes on auto pilot into 7-11 for a Slurpee and Chocolate, visit Mikayla to remind myself that I like children, never touch my school bag all night --in fact do nothing productive all evening, go to bed before 10.

Just in case you were wondering --Today was a definite 5. So much for my resolution to give up drinking pop.

Have you ever...

Have you ever...

---stopped to fill up your car when you still had over 1/2 a tank of gas just because gas was cheap and you were afraid it would jump again (2.29 today!!!)

---felt the need to turn to the person behind you in the grocery check out line and explain to them the need for personal space!

---fought the urge to turn to a strange child in the grocery story and tell them to shut up!

---realized 1/2 way through your laundry cycling that you never put in the detergent

---wanted the day to last just a few hours longer so you can get more done

---wished for Wednesdays more than once a week (I have 2 hours of no kids on Wednesdays)

---had a wacky urge to do a cartwheel on wet grass - yeah, don't know where this came from

---wished for the right words to tell a friend that they need to dump their problems on someone else because you are already on overload -- without managing to offend them (nearly impossible)

---threw all your laundry into one load because it takes too much time/energy/and water to separate all the different colors.

---wanted to go to bed for the night at 6:00 pm

If you've ever done any of these things, then you are having a day like I am today.

Remembering 9/11

This morning, our principal came on the announcements to announce that we were going to hold a moment of silence at 8:46 am (the time the first tower was hit) in honor of all those who died on 9/11. As I looked around my classroom, I realized that most of my kids don't remember that day. Most of them were only 2 and 3 years old when it happened. It's amazing how much time flies. That day is so ingrained in my memory, but to my students it was an unknown. I didn't go into details with them, just explained that it was a very sad day when some bad men crashed some planes and killed a lot of people. It felt like the understatement of the year.

I remember the day like yesterday. I was on a break from my Methods of teaching Reading Class when I saw people gathered around a tv in the SVSU commons area. I could see a huge fire and that people were shocked, but nothing registered at that time. I assumed it was someplace far away. It was only after another student came back to class that had watched the footage more closely that the story unfolded. Our professor barely blinked an eye and ran class until the last possible moment as usual. I don't know that anyone in the room really heard her though. I left for work at Dow in Midland and put on 790 Newsradio (which I only listen to for school closings). As I listened, my mind raced with what was going on. It felt like a dream. When I got to work, I finally saw the footage of what had really happened and I was horrified. All of it had taken place while I sat in class that morning. I was one of those people that had to watch the footage - I was oddly drawn to it. I still am today.

Looking around my class this morning during the moment of silence I started to wonder, what would be the major world events that would stick with them in their lifetime. For me, 9/11 was one that I won't ever forget. I have strong memories of the Columbine Shootings, the Oklahoma City Bombings, and the disappearance of the Space Shuttle Columbia - all of which are ingrained in my memory as well. The world has been such an evil place with the devil and his workers causing so much despair and destruction. I wonder about what other evils might still be in store for us before God mercifully decides to return to earth. In the meanwhile, I can only hope and pray that the world my students live in is a much safer and happier world, without some of the tragedies that I have witnessed in my life. Days like this should be days that we look back and remember those who tragically lost their lives, but they are also days that we should look forward to the wonders and glories of heaven and look to the God that has the power to heal and save.